4 Reasons Why You Should Write Letters To Your Kids

I've always been a strong believer in the written word; written memories, written love notes, written reminders. Not only are they a way to express yourself thoughtfully, but they last. Spoken words can often be forgotten, but written words will stand the test of the time.

Note: These are tips for writing a letter to your child to give to them later in life. Writing letters to your kids while they are still kids is also an option, and we suggest using our Mommy & Me / Daddy & Me Notebooks for this purpose. You and your child can fill the pages with words, jokes, drawings and conversations to help foster your relationship in the here and now and make them feel loved and heard.

But writing to your kids now and intending to give them your letters later in life is also a profound gift you can give them!

Why Write Letters To Your Kids As They Grow?

1. Writing captures your thoughts, feelings and perspectives for that particular moment in time.

Kids are constantly growing and changing, and how we feel as parents, the emotions and struggles we experience, changes with them. Writing them letters is the best way to immortalize how you felt during each step of the parenting process.

2. Writing letters to your kids humanizes you as a parent; it reminds your kids that you didn’t always have the answers, but you did the best you could.

Writing about the process of being their parents will show them that you struggled and you rejoiced, that you felt joy and pride and pain. It turns your perspective and experience into a bigger picture that your children can one day begin to understand - all of it peppered with love, even in moments when they may have questioned it. 

3. Writing your feelings can be an easier way to show love and affection.

Some of us are parents of few words, perhaps not good at handing out compliments or giving lots of "I love you's." We may be better at dishing out corrections, or quick to anger as a response to frustration. Perhaps we are not naturally affectionate, and most likely we are misunderstood because of it. Writing your thoughts is often much easier than speaking or showing affection, and it will allow your kids to still get those reminders of love that they need even if we didn't show it at the time.

4. Writing to your kids will help them to better understand themselves when they see themselves through your eyes.

We all form opinions about ourselves based on our own viewpoint and experiences, and having a third party perspective is essential to understanding that sometimes, we get it wrong. We aren’t always seeing the full picture and we are often hyper-focused on something about ourselves that is souring our entire identity. Telling your kids what you see in them and HOW you see them, is an opportunity to foster confidence, self-love, pride and so much more within them. And when it’s written down, it is words they can return to time and again when they need to be reminded of something that they forget about themselves.

What Should I Write In A Letter To My Kids? 

Sometimes we need a little help getting started with writing to our kids. You might be a natural, able to write off the cuff and talk about what’s happening in life at the moment. Or, you might need some simple prompts to get you started.

If you’re the latter, here are some prompts you can use to write short letters to your kids. Because life is always shifting and changing, you’ll be able to return to these same prompts over and over again with different outcomes - with new stories to share and new perspectives.

 Letters To Your Kids Writing Prompts:

• Something they did that made you laugh recently (don’t make fun of them, rather use this as an opportunity to tell them why they are funny and how they bring you joy)
• A wish you have for them today
• A wish you have for them in their twenties
• A wish you have for them in their thirties
• A wish you have for them when/if they become parents
• Something they did that made you smile
• Something they accomplished that made you proud (use this one often!)
• A recent memory of something fun you did together and why you enjoyed it
• What you see in them that makes them a good friend
• Your perspective on a recent struggle they are having and how you see them working on it in a positive way
• A positive trait in them that they get from someone else (a parent or grandparent)
• What you enjoy about watching them engage in their favorite hobby
• A list of things you think they are really good at
• Offer words of wisdom on something you have recently gone through or learned. Sharing with them how you navigated something tough will give them a window into who you are!
• Identify a positive character trait they displayed in a recent event. Tell them what they did and how they did it.
• A mistake you made (include an apology if you need to). It is essential to identify mistakes as a parent and to tell your kids you are sorry. It humanizes you a way that nothing else can. Vulnerability, regret and humility are all good things to model for our kids!

Tips For Writing Letters To Your Kids

1. Keep it positive

You can identify and discuss hard things you are going through with your kids and mistakes they’ve made, but keep it positive. They shouldn’t feel like you are scolding them in the letter; they should feel your love and support in a situation where they struggled.

 2. Keep it short

Don’t worry about writing a novel. Some days you can just write a sentence or a paragraph. As long as you are being honest and saying something meaningful, length doesn’t matter. Don't let length keep you from starting.

3. Keep it honest

Vulnerability, honesty, and humility are all traits we hope to instill in our kids, and modeling it is the best way for them to learn. So be honest with them about the hard things - without the struggle, we never fully understand joy and accomplishment. The goal is to get them to know you through your writing, so be you!

Ready to get started? 

Grab one of our personalized notebooks or Letters To My Child Journals and begin filling it with all your thoughts. It's never too late to start!